Finding the Road to OZ

I remember after the storm had come feeling pretty much in despair. But out of the woodwork came true friends which were supportive and made sure that I was well. Some brought gifts, and some the gifts of companionship. Sometimes I feel so blessed by all the warmth that is out there. I feel pretty good that a speaker on behalf of Sir Ransom of the Knights stood up for me.

Its intresting how I came full circle with the Knights, when Dino had declared war on them, I had my own issues with them regarding Val and this "code" he had to always swear to. I found out enough from Sir Ransom and Terrance that this code is not something to be hated it is just a vow of oaths they have. I look at it as a learning experiance, I get along with most of the knights with the exception of the two that I kinda came to verbal battle with.

I realize what I thought were "slights" against me before, really meant nothing because you always have to look where they come from. Everyone is entitled to their opionion you don't have to buy or believe it or them. I don't, I realize it comes from ignorance and prejudice comes from the same. Those that make empty threats and need to go to phsyical violence that is their own issues and not the person they impart on. Those that follow those codes have no place in my life, so that has kept things in Perspective.

My focus is on my family and friends where it should always be. I had a lovely chat with Asterix who has always the ability to soothe my beast down to a happy little kitten. Billyboy came by for a nice chitchat and gave me a nice cute little buny which made me feel like I am very happy that healer is in my life. Doctor Fancy felt I was pretty blue so she came to my island, and I was giving the tour when she asked where the binoculars for gawking at Ulath were. I had a good chuckle at that, I am glad things are going back to what is considered normal.

I equate this little event like a trip to a different land, where you see different shades of the situation. You need to explore your courage, when is it the right time to stick up for yourself and not back down. When you need to use your brain, think about when it is time to apologize if you need to or do what you need to regarding the situation. Basically the hindsight that comes after the storm. The heart to realize and re-recognize who you really have in your support and not talking about who is willing to back you up. Sometimes that is not what a true friend is, but there to make sure your okay afterwards, and let know that they think you to be pretty special.

So for my closing, I wandered my path which found me back home into the loving arms of the family that never left, and those true friends that will be there through thick and thin. Makes me appreciate what I have all that much more .

The Calm Before the Storm

Do you ever have one of those moments that you are seriously ticked off, your boundaries are being way to crossed? That happened to me today. Now mind you, I was up to my ole biting self with Orchid, she threatened me. Now I love how everyone (not just her, but she is the most recent case) think they can just threaten you and expect you to take it. Well I am not taking threats from anyone anymore.

She said she did not like biting, that is one thing and after the fact, like what can one do erase what they just did? I think not. No instead they continued on by threatening to curse me, and I replied that I knew a thing or two about curses. Then she threatened my children, she claims she was not threatening but thats not true. When you bring children into the equation and threatening them, I had quite frankly expected much better. Getting upset with me, is maybe acceptable after all I did bite her, and she obviously doesn't like it. But bringing my innocent children into this, that is just not acceptable. Course I have had a few things of late with this individual.

I had thought things were alright, respected her gifts, and thought perhaps we were friends but as for todays actions, I do under no circumstances condone or accept this. These are not the actions of a friend.


It is disheartening, the other previous encounter with this individual wasn't with her but more with Zillah. I was visiting him in his "secret" warehouse in the Rat Alley of London, fitting Zillah being found were rats lie. I thought perhaps we could mutally benefit one another. He was more worried about me being in his guardy poorly decored slum he reffered to as his warehouse. Like please......Seriously someone should help him out with a decorator. Mangy dead parrots hanging around cheesy Carnival posters. But alas, he had been talking with Orchid and had come to the conclusions with her that I was mad.


Like I said previously I had thought better of Orchid, but it is her business I guess......and the cost of a friend. I am sad for that.

What I have heard is from a place so dark and deep, and evil that it unnerves me to go there. In the darkness I recognize an item...........this is a very dangerous item, it is surrounded with gypsy protective challices. It is an object of the most foulests and dangerous of curses. I remember that even as in the past the Vampires slaughtered my family down. Or the family that had raised me that I thought were my family. A strange prediction is starting to come true...... The old wise woman, the one I reffered to a long time ago as my Grandmother told me a gift was in my blood it would come when I needed it most. Naturally I had thought this would have come when I saw all die, but that was not the case. It I believe is now, because strange things are coming and brewing in my dreams.

A man forged fromd arkness, holding a glowing red sword is coming, seeking me out. I feel an eye on my forehead opened, and a magic feeling within me starting to blossom. Its odd also that when Orchid did recently do a reading for me, she found a single card pop out........course she thought it was for her, but the oracle. I don't think it was about her......

I am going to calm my spirit down. I do detest being threatened, and will not stand for this, I will talk with Asterix as I always do to try to calm myself.

One try at Eternity for Two

Well at last the day has come and doubts even though they plagued me to the very end, did not stop the beautiful event. The weather was beautiful with a little hocus pocus from Rowane and Nadia, was wonderful. Though our concerns over having a pastor, we had Ulath take over and he gave a very unusual, but touching ceremony.

It was funny since we really didn't have what we needed ready but the love was there. We were surrounded by friends, in attendance were: Rowane, Ulath, Nadia and Joel, Autumn and ofcourse Asterix and myself. It was a nice little reprieve until we found out, that each other had the kids being watched.

Hehe who says parents are perfect.....

Portrait of the Man I love

Well finally was able to have Asterix break away from his herbs to sit still enough to get a portrait of him, but here it is. Hehe.

Dancing with your Doubts

I have heard it said that life is what you make of it. It is also filled with those moments when you realize perhaps some of that of which you held so dear may not be what it seem.

It's funny when I look upon my courtship with Asterix it has been fairly backwards. Normally one is free and clear before they become involved, the honey moon phase moves to compatability moves to wedding and then howdy there it is NICE to know you. But ours was like I said different. Bound in an entanglement of two worlds with Valerie, of the Knights. The strange viking came in an unexpected way.


I was there hanging out in Asterix's castle with him, discussing the difference of what we are. When I began to grow hungry, and asked if I could have a meal off of him. Well a little eager as I had not eaten all day, I started to feed, and got so bold as I would have killed him. Unless I gave him blood, so I brought him back from the dead.

Apparently I had awoken him into feeling something towards me. He encouraged me to embrace the darkness, not be ashamed of what I am and of the blood that coursed through my long since dead veins.

Now it seems kinda like Marigolds and Garlics are what lies on his mind. Now don't get me wrong he is very good with the children, but group running with his favorite pal Many seems to be a priority. On the eve before my weddding, I wonder if Asterix is ready or really wanting to be in a relationship. I can't help it, we don't talk as much as we used to. When we do, we quarrel but then I think about how much I feel towards him, and am getting more and more into the acceptance of the distance between us that seems to be ever expanding. I think I am just in a melancoly mood, perhaps some of Sir Ulath's antics with his companion, and this new Mint tea that was recommended to me shall change things.

In the Garden of Good and Evil

My love is divided with the love of a Mother which burns pure and true. My little Durriken, is such a warrior soul, already stepping and coming into his own little man. He is going to be a good fighter with a strong heart and thorough blade, though he needs to not let his ego be the failing of him. My little dear Dhanya is so beautiful, with her daddy's little eyes and my looks. She spends so much time sleeping however when she does open those eyes, a spark of mischief definately does Lurk. My youngest son, is a little enigma to me. Tessier is a bundle of questions and curiousity thank god all it is now is juvenille. He talks to just about anyone who will listen and has a good spirit to boot.

Those are my joyful thoughts, as I look amongst the herbs and somewhere in the vast greenery lies my husband, well fiance actually. He was supposed to get the invitations out, but who knows if he did or not. I guess as I stare at him, I feel love over bearing me but a little anger. What does his garlic bulbs and marigolds have that I don't that keep him away. I wonder if he thinks of his former flame, haunted by the thoughts he may wish to be somewhere else. But the few times we are together, soothed by his words and attentions. I understand a man and another woman, course the thought of slashing down another woman would be very easy to understand and doable. However it if was between a man and his faith , that is a hard relationship to understand

But is it possible to be jealous over an object, let alone a garden? I find myself glaring at the garden just wanting to rip it all up and wonder if that would get his attention.


I am just feeling blue.... well back to biting people I go.

Wandering the World

Do you ever have one of those moments when you need to go back and reflect upon your life......Something triggers you into deju vu mode. Perhaps a sound or a smell or a taste......For me it was the encounter with a young innocent Gypsy lass seeking love. Brings me back to the day I would find my true love.


I have had a life of mixed blessings. Though I do not remember my mother or father, or Rowane or my sister....... I am told I fit in, and this feels right. I do not remember those nights. What I do remember is waking up in a field full of gypsys, bold bright beautiful colours, confusion. I remember not remembering but then meeting my "mother and father." I remember typical memories of different dances and gypsy traditions, what always strikes me is the memories now dreams if you will. Is the life that these people imbued, a passion for life, love and dreams. Then at last, as always the blood starts to stain over the beautiful tapestry of the dream. Just like the night when Adar and his minions came, slaying down woman, man and child alike. Leaving me there looking up at him, his hand holding my hair and his eyes piercing mine, I watched as he took the life from me. Then waking up, the voidness, the dark consuming fire that urges me to go and sate myself in blood.


I remember running, always seem to be running. Then I land in the lands of Sherwood when I first saw a Knight I thought could wake me from my dream. His name was Valerie, amd it was all fairy tale like. With me the healing princess, and he was good and trying to keep me to being noble and pure. But like all good fairytales it was not reality, the reality is he was being torn asunder and always away.


During this time I met a friend at first Asterix, he was kind and sensitive. I did not know what a dark soul he was..... I did not know that when I accidently embraced him.......that he would turn to be my dark champion, that would cascade my mind and heart into the darkness. Not saying he was cruel or evil to me, for he was not. He recently has become the father to my three beautiful children, Durriken, Dhanya and Tessier.


Recently I have met my brother who oddly enough was one of the first people I met Rowane, he is a truely remarkable man, what else can you say about the man that selflessly gives himself to family. I wonder where these nights will lead me......